The Fritter Feast

We're renting a mooring from Donnie's Boat Rentals. This makes Donnie our land lord. (Water lord?). Every now and then, when the spirit moves him, he'll cook up something yummy and hand it out to whomever happens to be on the dock. We were visiting "Ripple", a Wharram catamaran, when Donnie came along with a plate full of lobster bits and fried onions. They were so delicious that when, a couple of days later, he invited all his "borders" to enjoy Conch Fritters at the "boatyard/workshop" Lew accepted readily.
　
That morning, Kathy (from "Puff") and I had dinghied up the sound to Abaco Boatyard to do our laundry. We had no idea that there was a "plan" in the works. By the time we got back to Harmony it was 2:30 and Lew was afraid we would be late for Donnie's party. However, we were on "island time" and there was no problem. Nevertheless, there was no way we could have anticipated the events of the next 3 hours or so.
Dave and Kathy followed Lew and I to the dock and walked back into the boatyard. Now the term "boat yard" isn't quite what one might imagine. The small, locally owned business, hidden from the water on a dirt road, through tall sea grapes and mangroves, is an open air workshop. Boating machinery and miscellaneous, mysterious items crowd any horizontal surface. For the afternoon, a small work bench held a buzz saw and close at hand, a 4'x8' sheet of raw plywood was set on saw horses. A hand drill was holding down the cord to the deep fat fryer sitting on one end. (That kept the magnetic plug in place we were told.) At the other end of the large plywood, Matt - Donnie's helper in everything it seems - was grinding ingredients for the Conch Fritters. Clearly we were not late for anything. With a meat grinder like my grandmother's, Matt had created piles of conch, celery and onion and was preparing a green pepper. Within reach was a 14 oz can of tomato sauce, salt and pepper, hot sauce and some garlic salt.

As I went over to see how these fritters are made, Donnie put us all to work! He seemed to have jobs for everyone. Every few minutes Donnie would announce "It's not workin!" then proceed to delegate some unfinished task.


Lew was directed to "Pappa Earl" to help build the supports for a fish cleaning table for the dock. Simultaneously Donnie asked Dave and Kathy to go with him to cut fire wood for the grill. (We were also having grilled Wahooh soaked in soy sauce and garlic.) So the carpenter went off in the truck while the shrink built a table.

The chickens and rooster wandered around by the office/shed. Donnie's dog slept on the front seat of the golf cart. As soon as Donnie was gone, Matt got upset. Donnie had forgotten to get flour for the fritters! This was a calamity. Well, on Harmony, I had a 2 lb. bag of flour. Lew and I hopped in our dinghy to fetch it. I also got the camera because this was turning into an afternoon not to be forgotten. When we returned the food production gathered speed again. However, in the middle of the preparations, Matt was requested by another boater for assistance… so the "chef" disappeared for awhile.

Donnie and "crew" returned with firewood ("It's Workin!") and a hilarious tale of his brother's pig. As other boaters were beginning to arrive we heard about how one night this huge animal smelled the left-overs from a rib roast and broke into the local bar/restaurant. Trying to eat all it could, it knocked over some bottles of rum and proceeded to enjoy them too, breaking booze bottles all over the floor and slurping the puddles. By the time anyone found him, the pig was totally drunk and refused to go home. With Donnie 's brother pulling on a long lead and his wife pushing it up the road with the golf cart, the critter eventually returned to its pen.
　
Of course this led to yet another excursion in which Kathy took my camera to get pictures of this infamous beast. Couples from "Red Head" and "Drama Queen" had joined us. Sure enough, Ted and Diane went into town in and among the provisions they were after, brought back mixers for the party. Michael was later sent up the hill to deliver fritters.. Dave and Kathy, on yet another unexpected trip, helped Donnie gather more button wood. Donnie calls everyone "Pappa" or "Mamma". I suppose that makes names easier to remember.



At about 4:30 the light, crunchy fritters, fried onions and grilled fish were finally ready for consumption. Over the afternoon, we had managed to get tortilla chips from "Puff" and oreos from "Harmony". It had become the least planned pot luck ever. There were paper towels for "plates" and no utensils. But most of us said the Fritters were the best we've ever tasted. And the Wahooh was incredibly delicious, too.